hmmm...

life is largely irrelevant of late... the return to work has stifled my introspection, or at least it's more useful and hopeful aspects... awaiting the new year with a gooey mixture of apprehension and apathy that's sticking to the inside of my ribcage and keeping me from wanting to breathe... and with each gasp i take, the air tastes more like rejection... and every event, every situation, just serves as a grim reminder, a tombstone marking the place where my hope is buried but used to live, the epitaph reading "we loved you though we didn't understand you"... it's sad to see the infant die, when the only thing you feel like you can do in response is to torture yourself in hungry retaliation, writhing over the possibilites that are now lifeless and interred...

this is obviously a bad idea...
i'm not in the right frame of mind to even pretend hope today...

i'm sorry, everyone.