take your seats, the fight's just about to start...

LAY-dieeeeeeees and GENnn-tlemen!!!
in this corner, the challenger, wearing the threadbare scraps of hope and tattered ideals, and weighing in at 65 pounds soaking wet, the Windblown Wonder, the Thing that can't stand in the Ring, LOVE!!!!
(crowd laughs, throws things, spits politely)
and in the other corner, wearing the absolute assurance of concrete reality, and weighing in at a staggering 285 pounds, the Heavyweight Champion of the WORLD, the Bruising Beast, the Iron Shackles, LOGIC!!!!
(crowd cheers)
and they come to the center to shake hands. logic mentions that its clearly a missmatch and that he will not hold back, fighting withing the parameters the regulations allow but not sidestepping his duty as champion. love greets logic warmly and wishes him the best of luck in the upcoming bout. logic looks at love as though he were slightly drunk, and they retreat to their corners to await the bell.

(ding ding!)

and THERE IT GOES! and they're both out fast, Love comes in with a dopey look in his eyes and mutters something about being friends, but it's only half heard as the rest of what he wanted to say is crammed back into his throat along with a few of his teeth by the first blow from Logic. Love staggers around blindly, wondering what happened, and after a few seconds of realizing that's accomplishing nothing, moves once more in the vague direction of his opponent. his momentum in that direction is once more thwarted by a crushing left, and a right, and another left. Love is bleeding badly, has no idea what's going on. Logic, instead of finishing the fight, takes a moment to chat with the bellringer, a friend of his from college. Love has lost already, but the poor sap doesn't know it. and there goes the bell, the end of round one.

love staggers into his corner and throws some water on his face, but unfortunately, nothing can quite wake him up from this one.
and there's the bell again!

love doesn't even get a chance to move this time. logic is there immediately, and pounds love with a series of shots to the body that would drop an elephant. however, this is love, and love bears, endures, believes and hopes all things.
of course, none of that matters one lick.

and love is down on the mat. the crowd is going wild! the fight is over. Logic, in a clear victory, retains his Heavyweight Belt, and love is relegated to fighting preteens in the Little Girl Boxing League until it can prove itself.

unlikely as that might be.

ho ho ho, merry election!!!

top ten reasons to vote for santa:
1. he sees you when you're sleeping, breaks into your house in the middle of the night, and his theme song is "you better watch out, you better not cry"... man, i'd be scared NOT to vote for him.
2. 8 flying reindeer = no more first class flights on your tax dollar.
3. house of commons replaced entirely by cheap, efficient elves.
4. since he only interracts with public one night a year, your favorite show is much less likely to be pre-empted by anything political.
5. taxes can now be paid in milk and cookies.
6. nobody would cross us for fear of winding up on the naughty list.
7. new daycare initiative... the "north pole child work appreciation facility".
8. nobody will be fat, overweight, or obese ... just "jolly".
9. 1 word: presents.
10. not only is he capable of making a list, he checks it twice before doing anything.

poem

as yet untitled, so if you can think of something clever...

here in this world
of realities
like oak
i can not
penetrate
your truth

can not see through the hole
one way
i am visible
here
standing on cheap carpet
under lights
flickering
exposed
i wait

you watch
safely
behind doors i don't
have keys to
open

i'm sorry

i still think
i live
here

deluded by mail
that comes
in my name
my misguided herald
lost again

or an officer in
mailman disguise
placing me still
at the scene of the
crime
waiting for my prints
on an envelope
i can't
touch

if i were small enough
to fit
to fold
slide gentl silent
under your
door
i could address me
to myself
and find i might be yours
again
if only shortly

one soft moment
between tearing open
and crumpling unwanted

one moment
to beg forgiveness
for my ugly penmanship

or maybe you would
simply write
return to sender
and i would be mine

again

creased
battered
stamped
but otherwise
whole.

so far as you can tell.

poetry contest

one of the great things about being in inventory in january is having the privilege of counting thousands upon thousands of valentines day cards.
for the record, my dislike for valentines day has reached, perhaps, the pinacle of an already epic voyage toward hatred.to stifle this trend, or perhaps encourage it but within a safe construct, i am hereby calling for entries into my poetry contest.
the topic is thwarted/unrequited love, loneliness, etc, about which, i'm fairly certain, some 90 per cent of poetry is currently written. which means everybody should have at least one to contribute.
i will judge the winner sometime in the vicinity of the day of hearts itself, and the winner will receive a prize. anyone who has submitted an entry is also welcome to pick a poem, other than theirs, that they think should win, and i will carefully consider all such opinions.i don't have a lot of time in january, so it would be a big help if, aside from posting the poem either here or at the community blog (http://virtuocity.blogspot.com) you also sent a copy to my email (rememberth@email.com) so that i am certain to read them all.
i will post the odd one here and there as i have time, although sadly, i can't win my own contest. which means other people are actually going to have to enter.
please do.
and good luck.

this year, the campaign buzzword is "evil"

ten reasons to vote for Satan in the upcoming election:
1. when the party turns out to be evil, nobody will be surprised.
2. unlike other parties, when you sell your soul to Satan, you get something for it.
3. contracts written in blood = no more broken campaign promises.
it's not like he's not already running things... maybe with his name on the desk, he'll be a little less moody about it.
5. in a twist of irony, taypayer money goes where it's truly needed... the cruel and eternal punishment of former prime ministers.
6. maple leaf on flag replaced by more menacing pitchfork and pointy tail.
7. easy scapegoat next time everything goes to hell.
8. Canada/US relations improve dramatically now that we're all under the same central leadership.
9. Canada suddenly a global military threat thanks to newly appointed military leader - Hitler!
10. Presents for everyone!! oh, wait... that's SANTA. my bad.